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KristelClaire’s summary: (You may improve my summary if deemed necessary, but PLEASE, keep it to the point and common sense)

Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) is the no-nonsense sheriff of a small town which goes crazy with Spring Break, when hundreds of university students take a break from their daily routine in order to swim, suntan, have fun, drink and try to make out with somebody else at the shores of Lake Victoria. Matt Boyd (Richard Dreyfuss) has just died, having been eaten alive by the piranhas. But these are not normal piranhas. They have been freed by a small earthquake after millions of years, so they are much more agressive that their Amazone counterparts.

Julie insists that her older son takes care of his younger siblings, but unbeknowst to her, he pays them so that they would stay at home on their own while he goes out in the expensive yacht called the Barracuda with the girl he likes and some more young people. The owner of the yach is Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell) a stupid inmoral young man which happens to be very wealthy. Derrick has planned the trip in order to record the tits of the girls. Jake is the in-promptu cameraman of the trip, and he records them while they are swimming and diving completely naked.

Julie finds Boyd’s corpse while he is with Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames). They way the gory corpse has been bitten is mysterious, so they’ll try investigate it futher. They dive in the area surrounding and one of their party is killed. They rescue the remains and capture one of the piranhas, and they decide to show the fish to Mr Goodman (Christopher Lloyd) Even when at an aquarium, the piranha tries to bite them.

Meanwhile, Jake Forester (Steven R. McQueen) is having fun at the Barracuda. When his mom calls, he says that he and his siblings Laura and Zane (Brooklynn Proulx and Sage Ryan) will watch TV all day. Meanwhile, his younger brother and sister have gone out to the lake in a small boat. They are left stranded in another side of the island because the tide has taken away their boat. One of the piranhas run after Laura while she is half inside the water because she has cut one of her feet, but she leaves the water just before the hungry piranha arrives, so that she remains unconscious about the rist they are taking.

Some time later, Jake sees them asking for help. Derrick cares only about recording a girl (Gianna Michaels) doing sky-diving naked, and tells Jake off because he isn’t recording her especially when she is getting wet in the water. Jake threatens him with the fact that he’s the son of the sheriff. As Derrick has been taking coke, he gets serious immediately.

Some officers try to tell the party-goers that they must leave the water, but they don’t pay attention. They just jump into the water and keep on dancing and drinking.

Derrick tells the Barracuda captian (Gregory Nicotero) to go and rescue the children. Jake takes Laura and Zane aboard and the boat gets stuck in the rocky soil.

The piranhas attack by hundreds the stupid young people and a general panic ensues when it’s too late and some of them have already been killed. When the survivors are out of the water, Jake phones his mother to tell her that the Barracuda is sinking. She runs with a small boat in their rescue. She throws a bit of rope to go to the Barracuda in the rocks.

Kelly (Jessica Szohr) is imprisoned in one of the cabin. Kelly is Jake’s love interest. Julie wants everybody to leave the Barracuda and then she’ll come back for Kelly. The piranhas can jump a little out of the water so they kill another of the girls but Zane, Laura and Julie reach the safety of the smaller boat. The pole to which the rope has been tied breaks, but it gets stuck in some of the railings of the Barracuda.

Jake’s got a plan to rescue Kelly, who’s inside the cabin hitting the jumping-out-of-the-water piranhas with a frying pan.

Jake throws Derrick’s half-dead gory body to distract the piranhas. He swims tied to the rope to the cabin where Kelly’s in. Then, he tells his mother and Fallon to pull them out. The boat does not work, so there are the typical seconds of emotion until Kelly and Jake are pulled out. All the piranhas follow them but the explosion Jake has created kill the piranhas anyway while Jake and Kelly are pulled out of the water and into the boat unharmed.

Julie talks to Goodman by radio and he tells them that the piranha she had left with him at his home is not fully developed, it’s a baby. Everybody hears it and Fallon asks, “The babies? So where are the parents?” At that moment a huge piranha the size of half a peson jumps out of the water and eats him.

Starring: Julia Roberts, James Franco, Javier Bardem, Richard Jenkins

Vampires Suck Trailer

A spoof of various movies and pop culture but mostly of the Twilight Saga, where teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys. As she and her friends wrestle with a number of different dramas, everything comes to a head at their prom.

I saw the advanced screening tonight in New York City and it was hilarious. The dry humor was tremendous and the chemistry between Marky Mark and Will Ferrell is unmatched. They were so funny together it was great. The story of the movie is pretty predictable but there legit is non stop laughter through the entire film. The only draw back was the length of the movie, they could have trimmed it a bit but overall it’s a solid summer comedy. Dare I say this was Will Ferrell’s best performance since Anchorman. It’s certainly one of those movies you will be quoting with your friends for a long time. The entire theater was laughing throughout the entire thing..Great movie…go check it out.

Hal is a gifted and cocky test pilot, but the Green Lanterns have little respect for humans, who have never harnessed the infinite powers of the ring before. But Hal is clearly the missing piece to the puzzle, and along with his determination and willpower, he has one thing no member of the Corps has ever had: humanity. With the encouragement of fellow pilot and childhood sweetheart Carol Ferris (Blake Lively), if Hal can quickly master his new powers and find the courage to overcome his fears, he may prove to be not only the key to defeating Parallaxhe will become the greatest Green Lantern of all.

Jay Roach’s take on writer/director Francis Veber’s The Dinner Game (Le diner de cons) is an English language adaptation of the farce in which each week, Pierre and his friends organize what is called “the dinner game”, where everyone brings the dumbest guy he can find as a guest – the dumbest guest wins

As adapted from the bestselling 2004 novel of the same name by Andrea Levy, the miniseries Small Island observes the experiences of two very different married couples – one Jamaican, the other British – whose lives intersect at a point in post-WWII England when the relationship between their parent countries is about to irrevocably change. David Oyelowo and Naomie Harris star as Gilbert and Hortense, Jamaican immigrants who wed in a marriage of convenience and must battle bigotry and intense social rejection from the British on a daily basis. All that they really want is to be proud and happy subjects at the United Kingdom, when it would be easy to feel resentment and fury given the circumstances: many of their fellow countrymen are the descendants of Jamaicans who had been forcibly enslaved to the British Empire in an earlier era. Meanwhile, the couple’s married English landlords, Bernard (Benedict Cumberbatch) and Queenie (Ruth Wilson) are still rebounding from the experience of a lengthy wartime separation. Queenie projects an unusual attitude toward Gilbert and Hortense, given her lack of bigotry and unquestioning acceptance, but this ironically threatens to create more problems than it solves.

A side splitting animated action comedy that follows the quest of a lovely yet humble young girl named KG, the Kung-Fu Girl. With the help of her brave yet zany Master Panda, KG must rescue the handsome Prince Po and restore justice to her beautiful kingdom. During her adventure, KG learns that there is no limit to what she can accomplish, if she believes in herself.

A side splitting animated action comedy that follows the quest of a lovely yet humble young girl named KG, the Kung-Fu Girl. With the help of her brave yet zany Master Panda, KG must rescue the handsome Prince Po and restore justice to her beautiful kingdom. During her adventure, KG learns that there is no limit to what she can accomplish, if she believes in herself.

A look at how the quiet Northwestern town of Forks, Washington became a tourist hotspot for fans of the “_Twilight_ ” books and films.

When implanted in a person’s wrist, a TiMER counts down to the day the wearer finds true love. But Oona O’Leary faces the rare dilemma of a blank TiMER. Her soul mate – whoever and wherever he is – has yet to have a TiMER implanted. Staring down the barrel of thirty and tired of waiting for her would-be life partner to get off the dime, Oona breaks her own rules and falls for Mikey, a charming and inappropriately young supermarket clerk with a countdown of four months.

While navigating with his girlfriend Alexis and his partners and friends Chris and Tom and his girlfriend Anna to a close a Broadband Internet access business in Asia in the motor pleasure yacht of Joe, they rescue a wounded drowned man in shock. During the night, the stranger overrides the automatic pilot and steers the vessel to change the direction; however he accidentally wrecks on a rock and the vessel sinks. The castaways reach a beach in an island and they try to contact the coast-guard through the radio. However, during the night, the body of the stranger vanishes from the grave and then Tom also disappears. The group decides to seek-out Tom and sooner they find that the wild jungle has hostile inhabitants that hunt in pack and the survivors are the prey.

In a small town in the countryside, the teenager Amy is overprotected by her widower father John. When she meets the newcomer mechanic Dan, they immediately fall in love with each other. Dan discloses to her that he was cursed when he was a child and turns into a werewolf when the moon is full. Meanwhile the local sheriff, Sam, is investigating the slaughter of people and the murder of several farm animals apparently by a wolf. Out of the blue, the outsider sheriff Charles Thibodeaux arrives at her office and reveals who the murderer is. Bender calls Thibodeaux into the sheriff’s office telling him that he had abducted Amy and scheduling an encounter in the city ruins with his old enemy.